The World Didn't Get It

I don't really think that the world i stated is the actual world that we live in. There are many worlds you can explore, in so many ways. They just didn't get it.


I'm not a perfectionist but I kept thinking that I want to be a better person so everyone around me will feel comfortable when they are hanging out with me. But they just didn't get it.


I am, an asshole, for quite a long time. Seriously, but I want to make that up to my friends so I can leave with a smile, when I'm gone. They didn't accept it, because they didn't get it.


I don't give A f**k about my surroundings, so that is maybe why I must carry on with this thingy in my head and can't tell others. And if I tell them, you know, they just didn't get it.


I'm writing like this because I am dying to know a theory called talking to oneself, can be a good therapy. For a person who is dying, that is just great news. But if I talk to myself, and I know many eyes are on me. Mainly because they didn't get it.


So why are we trying to impress others while we suffers the excruciating pain. That we can only feel. If you are telling me that you suffers from much pain, MAYBE, I get it. The percentage for me to understand your sufferings are high. But still, the low percentage one, can occur.


People told me that I am an understanding person. And I am talking about everybody around me that really knows me. Not to a specific person. And yes, thanks for the compliments, but I barely understand myself.


Then how the hell can we get it? Don't ask me. Because I didn't get it either. Remember, I barely understand myself, kan?

p.s Amoi! Nice knowing you. :)

Noorazllyssa Norazmi The Second.

ok, sebab ina dah cakap ami eja betul. ami letak lagi post lisa yang kedua dan mungkin yang terakhir. boleh jadi gila layan budak ni weyh. serious.
kejadian di tempat yang sama dan juga tempat yang berlainan. eh, kenapa keyboard ni? ami dah eja masa kan? lahanat kau keyboard. kau ingat kelakar ke? ptuih!


keyboard saya tidak memberi kerjasama yang sepatutnya. :(


ok ulang balik. di tempat kejadian yang sama, tetapi pada masa yang berbeza, *good, puas hati* si lisa ni baru lepas makan. and lupa pulak, ini hari berikutnya. *layan budak ni dua hari berturut turut. saya sepatutnya diberi medal penghargaan.*

ok, mak lang suruh lisa siapkan homework, tapi sebab dia ni macam budak normal yang lain, dia taknak. dia cakap, "homeworks are for losers!" pandai pulak budak ni cakap english? ok ok, i made that up. dia tak cakap apa apa kecuali taknak.
dan tiba tiba masa ami makan kuih tu, dia cakap..


"eh ami, kenapa ami punya nama lain?"
"lain apanya? betul lah tu dia eja Zahid"
"takkkkkk, lain!" *dia memang macam ni, pushy sikit.*


so ami pun tunjal lah kepala dia dan cakap..


"kau ni lisa, pandai mengeja tak?"
"pandai!"
"ok kalau pandai, cuba lisa eja nama kat nametag ami ni"
"ok, emmm, *lama dia buat emm tu* Z.. A.. H.. eh ami yang lepas H ni L ke?"
"kau tengok lah betul betul, kau ni memang sengal lah"
"adik nampak L lah, ni mesti L!"
"yelah kau, tu I lah"
"oh I. ok. Z.. A.. H.. I.. D.."
"bunyi dia apa?"


korang nak tau? dia jawab..
"AMI!"

kepala hotak dia. haha. ok sebab dia kecil lagi dan dia semestinya belum matang, ami bagi peluang kedua untuk dia mengeja nama ami yang mulia ni. nama je lah tapi.

"kau eja lagi lisa, dah dekat dah tu, sebut je salah."
"ok ok. aaaaaa, *kali ni dia ternganga pulak* Z.. A.. H.. L.. D.."
"ok apa bunyi dia?"
"ADI!"


konklusinya, memang saya patut diberi medal penghargaan kerana saya telah berkhidmat kepada negara dengan melayan budak sekor yang tak cukup gigi ni....

seriously, i mean it.

Noorazllyssa Norazmi.

pertama. ina, betul ke ami eja nama lisa? haha.

ok, kedua, ni nak cerita, di pagi yang hening dan sejuk, berdirilah suatu bayang yang berwarna putih, dan.. *rehat jap* nak tanya, korang takut tak?

kalau tak takut, teruskan membaca, kalau takut, silalah baca post atau blog lain yang ada di sidebar yang lebih menarik daripada ami punya yea.

ingat, anda telah diberi peringatan. >:))

baiklah. teruskan dengan cerita tadi, berdiri satu bayang yang berpakaian putih, berseluat slack hijau dan bertali leher sekolah. nama dia ami. dia memang selalu tunggu mak lang dia kat tepi gate tu haa. taktau? alaa, kat sana tuuuu. *tunjuk macam nampak je*

pagi tu dia masuk air sikit. ok lah, tipulah kalau sikit. BANYAK. dia masuk air banyak sebab ia memang kurang sihat. maka mak lang pun membunyikan hon yang tak seberapa nak perlahan tu. ami ni pun berjalan macam Matt Damon tengah menari tango.

macam mana? bayangkan je lah. korang memang tak faham imaginasi orang yang tinggi melangit ni. ok. so bayangkan sendiri. gaduh lah korang sesama sendiri. malas. haha

masuk je dalam kereta, ada dua orang makhluk yang kadang kadang tu masuk air macam ami jugak. dah tentu lah si lisa dengan mak lang ami tuu. ok. sampai situ. maka perjalanan ke kedai pun diteruskan dengan bunyi deruan angin yang bising dan sejuk.

eh lupa tutup tingkap, patutlah bising.

setelah tingkap dah tutup, tiba tiba je dah sampai kedai. jangan tanya macam mana. ami pun taktau. so kalau korang nak sampai ke satu destinasi dengan cepat. buka tingkap dan tutup balik. ami tau tak masuk akal. dan kalau macam tu, janganlah buat ok.

dah settle semua barang turun dari van. ami pun amiklah kuih air tangan ibu yang menjilat kaki, eh, jari, tuu. makan makan. nom nom nom nom.

si lisa ni pulak tiba tiba ajak nyanyi lagu minum kopi. apa dia ingat ami budak tadika? tapi ami layankan je. ami kasihan kat dia. taktau kenapa.

mungkin sebab gigi dia tak cukup? yes. mungkin. boleh jadi.

ami pun layan lah budak sorang ni, sebab dia takboleh nak ajak bibik bibik dia main sekali, kena potong gaji nanti kemungkinan besar pekerja pekerja mak lang. mungkin? yess.

so sebab bibik bibik ni takboleh main dengan lisa, dia pun kerjalah, sambil dengar ami berbual dengan lisa.

"ami, jom main A B C!"

"ok ok jom"

"do re mi fa so la ti doooooo!"

"eh adik, kau nak main A B C ke DO RE MI?"

"kita main one two three lah ami"

kalau korang nak main dengan budak ni, dipersilakanlah. dia sangat desperate mencari teman hidup. ok gurau. mencari teman bermain.

ina, kalau baca, tolonglah dengar pesan ami ni, jangan tidur ok? HAHA.

Hai Kamu! :)

kepada sesiapa yang berkenaan, silalah bayar bil Astro anda kerana banyak jumlah yang tertunggak. oh, silap. kepada sesiapa yang berkenaan, silalah berhati hati dengan saya kerana saya menggigit. eh tak, silap lagi.

apa eh nak cakap tadi? lupalah. i am that cranky, ignorant person again. damn.

biarlah dia cakap sorang sorang kat situ. nanti kalau dilayan dikata gila, elok tak buat apa apa kan? actually ami pun taktau nak buat apa ni. ok kita buat checklist supaya dapat berfikir secara lurus tetapi bukan bendul. err..

1. beli Gallardo dalam NFS? *check
2. makan? *check
3. sampai level 70 dalam Kingdom Hearts II? *check
4. install flight simulator kat PC? *check
5. beli gula? *check
6. habiskan Metro 2033 dan Rainbow 6 Vegas 2? *check
7. habiskan buku Physics? *check (jangan tanya habiskan macam mana)
8. study untuk SPM?

haa! yang last tu tak buat lagi. sebab tu takda check. haha. ok, from now on, i will be more ignorant than evver! eh jap, salah text.

ni yang betul. from now on saya akan belajar dengan bersungguh sungguh tetapi, :) *ceh* tidak akan melepaskan peluang untuk mengurangkan stress atau erti kata lain main games dan online dan blogging dan chatting. :)

ok emm, bila nak start?

dah start.

tapi kenapa tak nampak hasil.

err, sebab broadband tak sihat.

ciao. maths examinations are the most.... (sila sambung please)

Lepak Ah Kaputoes!

relax ahh, kau jangan lah nak fikir-fikirkan sangat weyh. benda ni kalau fikir dalam dalam sangat, dia boleh jadi buruk tau tak? so lay back, chill and shout. "we are the KAPUTOES!" so we do it the kaputoes way. jangan banyak tanya.

kau nampak tak, berfikir masa kita tengah tenang, and bersenang lenang, atau tengah menang ke, we can make the best decision for us. ok faham tak funker? bagus kalau faham. fuk u kalau tak. budak tadika pun faham kalau aku cakap.

lain laa kalau cakap bahasa BERUANG. ok bro, aku tau, jangan masuk.

u see, bahasa beruang ni sangatlah JARANG untuk orang jumpa, kecuali sesetengah yang memang dah bertutur bahasa beruang.. so kalau dah masuk bahasa beruang, its time for u to get laid. ok kidding, tak. haram. its time for u to chill.

benda ni semua memang rintangan untuk kita atasi, kalau setakat problem kamu tu, orang lain pandang sebelah mata je. kecil lah bro, kalau nak dibandingkan dengan masalah negara. semua orang ada masalah, mereka tak exaggerate macam kamu. please keep it down.

dah, tu je aku nak cakap kat diri aku sendiri. macam sial kan? ah, lantak apa. haha.

Tulis Semua Benda Yang Terlintas Kat Kepala Otak.

sumpah taktau apa nak tulis ni, otak dah macam siot slow gila, and, entah. memang lepas jogging macam ni kot. ah, lantaklah. haha.

***

selepas beberapa jam.

serious, memang benda ni taktau nak tulis apa, and i decided untuk cerita pasal apa apa sahaja yang terlintas kat otak yang semakin sakit ni. haa, TRIAL.

dan ternyatalah memang ami sakit otak amik gambar tak senonoh macam ni dan bukan. kalau korang nak cakap muka ami macam ni masa exam memang korang dah silap besar. sebenarnya lagi teruk, dan lebih putih. HAHA

effing trial. mula pada Khamis lepas and habis, entah, agak agak bulan depan kot. jadual hilang, bukan takda ok? emm, Bahasa Melayu, bolehlah. 3 isi yang dia bagi tu, dah di huraikan sampai dua mukasurat. serius tak tipu, pakai cara ini jugak, pakai tulis ja apa yang ada kat dalam kepala otak. haih.

macam mana lah kau nak berjaya ni ami.

ok biar je suara tu duduk sorang sorang kat situ, malas nak layan. emm, itu kertas satu kot. kertas dua, emm, yang ada sastera tu kan? lupalah, ok, hadap je. tulis je. kertas dua. semua ok, haa, rumusan terbaik. pasal BLOG dan KEBAIKANNYA.

sungguh gembira bila tengok soalan, jadi apa lagi, gunakanlah kemahiran merepek ami untuk buat ulasan. ok, memang gam gam 119. selamat kan? harap harap lah, susah betul nak dapat cukup cukup sebab ami memang power bab bab merepek ni. alaa, macam taktau je korang. ok ok cukup. diaorang pulak yang takfaham nanti.

English, i think i'm doing fine, i hope i will maintain being the first from the bottom on this one. yes, using my not-so-effective-method-to-many-people. write all the things that crossed my mind, or head. what the heck lah kan.

i'm not doing well in literature, in Bahasa Melayu nor English, i did a tonnes of reading, yes, tonnes. jap, kenapa line merah ni ada kalau tulis "tonnes"? salah ke? ah, biarlah dia duduk situ. ok ok. proceed.

i'm dying to read The Man With No Face. Isa, please let me borrow it, please please. u see, i love to read and, oh correction, but, i just not into school literature. mainly because, err, they prepared an examination for it. suck, right?

ok ok. i'm not sure which paper is it, that i must pick one title then write an essay about it. which one eh? ok, let it be. i chose the one with, write a story with the ending "...it made me realise the importance of love in ouf life." ok that one. i will post my essay, if i got the time.

***

so apa lagi yang ada dalam kepala otak ami ni? nak tau? err, honestly i don't even know. ok ok, enough with the nonsense.

ok, jom layan Ray William Johnson.

Meeting You. And You. And You.

As i remembered, it was a pleasant evening on the hills. there was a windmill, and i don't effing know where are we that time. all i can recall is the hills, the scandinavian picnic, the soft green grass, and the color of your dress. white.

firstly, i walked into the unknown place, and there you stood beautifully in your white dress. reaching my hands and walk me up the hills. i saw the picnic cloth, with a hell of a picnic foods. we sat to see the sun sets.

while still sitting, we talked, and like always, it was a very nice conversation that i can only have it with you. with you. how much i missed you. we shared so much stories, some are great, some are shitty. some are just wonderful to keep for ourselves.

oh how much i missed you.

i missed you the moment you are gone. how can i say this? it's not love dear, nor obsession. i don't know what is this feeling that kept reminding me of you. i think i missed you.

yes, affirmative. I MISS YOU.

BAPAK. don't worry. i missed you too sir. celebrating Aidilfitri is hard when you are not around giving words of wisdom, share your story with me when the Japanese invaded Malaya, i even remember a story where you have to carry two of your dead friends all the way to the hospital.

it was 20 miles? or more, right? i'm positive.

that is why i looked at you ten feet high, and counting, because, no one has ever told stories as amazing as you do, sir. ok, except my dad. he's just as wise as you. :)

i cried every time i remembered you, and you, and you. thinking how i can cope, without a little hurt. and mainly because i am alive when the other, GONE. it's not the same anymore. i count my family members, friends, and, err, friends. of course i have known so much people. but the numbers doesn't add up.

but you guys are just, awesome. and i am grateful to know all of you awesome peoples.

ok MAMA. :) i missed you too, too. ok enough too. emm, u still didn't tell me how painful the chemo was, or how wonderful it was when you see all of your relatives gather around you at the hospital. MAK LONG, i remember you because you are the PLAYMAKER in our family. you planned all of our birthdays, and you did a wonderful job.

without you, there is ACU. it's fun too, but it's not the same anymore. things are going great, but again, it's not the same anymore. kan? everything is different when your loved ones are gone.

i miss YOU GUYS SO MUCH. and if i get ONE chance to meet you guys again. i WILL NOT follow you, but I WILL, err, scream I LOVE YOU and HUG you till you guys cannot breath. ok just kidding. because i wonder when can i get a chance like that again.

so i'm using all, i mean all the, opportunity i get to, lepaskan rindu to you guys.

ONLY GOD KNOWS, how much i love you guys. and mainly because i think, i will follow your path soon enough. :)

rather be a hero, than a divorcee.

entah lah. dah nak exam ni malas pulak nak ber-blogging. nanti lepas exam ni ami update apa yang patut. dah ada que dah.

wish me luck all! :) thanks!